Form a Church, Gain Followers, Become Tax-Exempt, and Sway the Minds of Millions in Five Easy Steps
How-to guide offering a 5-step program on founding your own Religion.
Been to Art School? Short of cash? Too many girlfriends? Philip Athans has compiled a handy list for anyone seeking a change of scenery. He guides you through the process of forming your own religion step by step.
Step one DOGMA
is dedicated to all the groundwork. It is up to you to determine your number of gods, where to worship, what rites to follow and what holy text(s) to teach. These are basically the bullet points of your new religion, from then on everything will fall nicely into place. So take some time to set up the basics well. You can get really creative here. Athans strongly suggest using ambiguity and contradictions to keep your mystery working nicely.
Step two CONVERTS
is great advice on how to gain followers quickly. Athans points out the usefulness of celebrities and fanatics. You’ll need these guys, they are gold.
Don’t worry. This is a lot of work but hang in there, for the spiritual fulfillment or the money or whatever drives you, it will be worth it.
Step three RITUALS
will provide you with the knowledge to keep your flock busy and entertained. It’s up to you to design shrines or temples and think about important things such as marriage and offerings. You can get really inventive with this one! Give your followers something to look forward to – the end is near. In the age of Social Media, make your rituals as memorable and visually satisfying as you can.
Step four LIFE
is the cherry on the cake. Now that you’re getting into the hang of things, let’s look at the delicate details of your religion. Will your sheep be granted an education? Do they have to live abstinent? What laws will you or the gods establish?
Step five DEATH
This would not be a complete self-help guide without the tools to gain control over your project. Making your following afraid (or really looking forward to going to whatever place you’ve come up with for them) will be essential in maintaining power over your flock.
God is Love. I got that from Oprah, and she should know.
Why we love it: We are almost certain he is just kidding.
Recommended for: Anyone looking for a career change and people living in remote areas.
What would your religion look like?
2012, Adams Media, MA, USA, Self-help